The Power of a Dustpan
by omidorichan
Summary: LJ The role that a certain someone plays in bringing Lily and James together. The power of friendship and eccentricity. Can you afford not to read this? Probably! But do it anyway, you know you want to! now finished!
1. Chapter 1: Of All the People

**The Power of a Dustpan**

by Sinead Usagi

-------------------Chapter 1: Of All The People --------------------------

Where should I start? Hmm... let's start on the fifth day, of the fourth month (that's April for those of you who aren't so bright) of my sixth year. Ah, yes, the golden years of youth, to be treasured and remembered fondly. A wise friend of mine says that one day I will look back on these years and smile. Another, possibly even wiser friend, says I will look back on these days and cringe. Maybe, if my talents develop as planned, I will be able to achieve both at the same time. But for now, the golden whatsit of youth is not shining so brightly. Why? you ask. I'll tell you why- I have been sitting in a damp, smelly broom closet for an hour!

Yes, a broom closet. A closet filled with brooms, no doubt. But not only is this closet filled with brooms (they aren't the flying kind either) it is also filled with various, and unfortunately less better looking, relatives of the broom: mops, feather dusters (my they can be a lively bunch), vacuums, and of course, the trusty side-kick and partner of any competent broom- dustpans.

Now, why would I, your distinctly handsome, beautiful, and charismatic narrator be stuck in a broom closet? Let's just say I had a date with destiny, or rather, a Hufflepuff. However, she has failed to show up at the arranged time, and being the lazy sort that I am, I have been too lazy to actually summon the strength to stand up (urgh) and walk back to my dorm. Won't my adoring friends be worried about me, you ask? Why, yes, I imagine they will be worried. They will worry and worry until their hair turns grey and their teeth fall out. But I am not subject to them and their continuous worrying. After all! I do as I please and come and go when I like.

Now, I'll bet you're wondering, what does all this have to do with anything? Nothing really, I'm just trying to keep myself occupied. I guess you are also wondering who I am and how you can come and join me in this broom closet. Well, I am flattered, but really, you think I'd reveal that classified information? I'm a wanted man you know, and I can't go around giving away my identity to anyone who asks. That is why I have so many pseudonyms up my sleeve. John Smith, for example, has gotten me out of many a pickle with unwanted fanatics.

What have we learned today? One: I will not tell you who I am. Two: I am sitting in a broom closet, quite alone (but unwaveringly attractive). Three: Something is about to happen, which I am now going to relate to you in past tense.

And this something is a rather unnerving turn of events. As I sat on an upturned bucket, thinking to my self of my present situation, I heard a yelling and scurrying outside. Could it be my date, come at last? Any miscommunications will be forgiven, if so.

I watched amusedly as the door handle was jiggled back and forth until finally whomever it was put some brute force behind their efforts, and managed to push the door in, and then close it hurriedly behind them.

I'm not sure what kind of architect would design a broom closet with a door that opens INWARDS but let me assure you there will be no mercy for them if we ever cross paths. This violent swing of the door caught me at unawares, and smacked my whole body off of my treasured bucket and into the wall (which is not that far of a move, but still, the pain...), where after all brooms and family came tumbling on top of me.

The person obviously was not my date. They did not even acknowledge my presence, as they leaned their ear gently against the door, trying to discern the sounds of anyone following them, while trying to silence their heavy breathing. Of course, it must be hard to see someone covered in various moppery in the dark, so I let it go.

Almost immediately, I heard a cackling sound mixed with an equally unsettling high-pitched giggle.

"Student out of bed! Student out of bed! Where, oh, where could you be?" Peeves sang, and I heard him slamming doors as he whizzed down the corridor towards us. My guest gasped and brought out a wand, quickly muttering an incantation to keep the door shut. And, sure enough, after this happened, Peeves was at our door. He first tried the doorknob, but then seeing, to his utter delight, that it was locked, started scratching on the door with his horrid fingernails.

"Are you in there my sweet?"

Urgh, how revolting. I suppressed the urge to reply.

"Why don't you come out? You know that students aren't allowed to be sneaking about at night!"

I heard the person hold their breath, and we both listened tensely for what his next move would be. I figured he would either tire of the game, or go get Filch. Unfortunately (or fortunately, you decide) he did neither.

"Why don't you unlock the door? Or do you like being in a cramped, smelly, broom closet?" he sang, as happy as can be.

Silence from us both.

"Well... if you insist! If you like it so much in there... well! Let no one say that Peeves is a mean poltergeist, dearie! You get what you want!"He cackled some more and we heard him whiz away.

I heard a sigh of relief and whoever it was sat down to calm them self. Then, that person cast the lumos spell to bring a little bit of light to the situation. I could not believe my eyes.

"_EVANS!_ LILY FREAKING EVANS?"

She jumped at being addressed by a pile of brooms. Then, upon realizing that there was someone UNDER the pile of brooms, moved them and tried to help me up.

"What the—" I cut her off

"Lily Evans! What are you doing here?" I said, and began to laugh. She was absolutely the last person I would expect to be running into broom closets, being chased by Peeves, in the middle of the night.

She put her hand on my mouth. "Shh! He may have gone to get Filch! This is my chance to sneak out now." She raised an eyebrow at me. "I hope I didn't disturb you, whatever you were doing."

She then turned around and tried to open the door, ignoring my protests of "be careful you don't hit me again!" I needn't have worried, however, because the door simply would not open. She tried turning the knob as hard as she could, both ways. She tried pushing it, pulling it, and punching it, but it was no use. That door, like me, was just not up to moving any time soon.

Then, she laughed at it. I wondered to myself what that was going to do to help the situation, and I started to tell her that the door wouldn't appreciate being laughed at, but then she lifted her wand up to the knob.

"I just have to undo my locking spell, that's all," she murmured, more to herself than anyone. What am I? A broom? Yeesh.

"_Alohomora!_"

She tried the door again.

Nothing.

"_ALOhomORA!_" she tried again, this time enunciating the word fully. To her extreme dismay, the lock would not break.

I tsked at her, and stood up, which wasn't the easiest thing to do, seeing as there was limited room in this closet. "Let _me_ try," I said coolly, and brought up my wand.

"It goes like this, Lily dearest. Watch and learn. _AloHOMORA!_"

She tried the door again and still it refused to open. She sneered at me.

"Nice going."

She was mocking me! This would not do at all! I pushed her out of the way, and tried to open the door myself.

"You're too weak, with your girly arms. Let a man handle this!" I cried, and started tugging at the door with all the brute force of my abominable ancestors. This, however, only made her laugh.

"MY girly arms? Look at YOUR girly arms!" she said, and pinched my awesomely muscular bicep. I was so offended that I fell over, out of breath, and was unable to attempt at opening the door anymore.

"I'll just blow the stupid thing off. _Expelliarmus!_" The electric beam of light that shot forth from her wand hit the handle, but then fizzled out. She tried again, but no avail.

"Try it with me, you dolt! If we do it together, maybe it will work!" she snapped, and kicked me. I happened to be lying on the floor, and thought it extremely rude of her to kick me. Kick 'em when they're down, that must be _her_ motto.

"No need for profanities, love," I said, struggling to get to my feet. She snorted audibly, but I chose to ignore it. "On the count of three. I mean, that is to say, after I say three, not WHILE I'm saying three. It is important that I stress this right now, because I have run into problems in the past with people thinking that as I am pronouncing the word "three" they have the go ahead. But, no. It is only after three that you may proceed."

"Thanks for the warning," she said flatly. As I counted, we both pointed our wands at the door handle. Then, after that tricky three, we recited the spell together.

"_EXPELLIARMUS!_"

And still, with the combined effort of our geniuses, the spell cracked and sizzled like static, and extinguished itself into the doorknob. I gave up and sat down again. I spent the next ten minutes watching Lily try every spell she could think of to open the blasted door. But, I'm sure, if you have been paying ANY attention in the story so far, you will have guessed that none of these worked either. She tried and tried until she ran out of ideas, and then, exhausted, she ungracefully sat down on the floor beside me.

"If it makes you feel any better, it was absolutely darling when you started swearing at the door. I've never seen anything quite like it."

"Shut up, you," she snapped at me. Then, hugging her knees, she put her head down and sighed.

"Don't worry, the spell will wear off in the morning," I told her quietly.

She lifted her head and looked at me, I could see slight tears of frustration in her eyes. She must have been very tired.

"What?"

"The spell. The one that Peeves cast. We'll be locked in here until morning. His night magic loses power during the day," I told her.

She gave me an incredulous look. "Are you making this up?"

I shook my head. "No, no, I know all about Peeves's magic. I thought, as a prefect, you would know too. Peeves can only cast powerful spells during the night. He locked us in, and that is why we can't break it." I paused to make sure she was still listening to me. "However, he has very little power during the day, and can only perform petty charms. So the locking spell should wear off in the morning. It's elementary, my dear Evans."

While Lily gaped at my incredible knowledge and intelligence, I spoke further. "So, this means we will be locked in this closet together until morning. I guess I can cross that off my list of things to do before I die." Okay, I can be sarcastic sometimes, too.

Lily smacked her forehead dramatically with the palm of her hand. "Of all the people to get locked in with, _I_ get stuck with _Sirius Black_!"

* * *

A/N: Hey you all, this is probably just a product of my pre-HBP excitement. I haven't really written anything for a year, maybe more, so this is what happens, I guess. For those of you who are wondering, **_NO, THIS IS NOT A LILY/SIRIUS ROMANCE FIC!_** THEREFORE there will be NO SNOGGING in this broom closet. I may be the first person to ever write a fanfic like that! oo;; 

Review! Come on! You know you want to!

DISCLAIMER: You know very well I don't own Harry Potter or any other pop-culture references made in this fanfiction.


	2. Chapter 2: Masquerade

The Power of a Dustpan

By Sinead Usagi

------------------------ Chapter 2: Masquerade ----------------------------

"Of all the people to get locked in with, _I_ get stuck with _Sirius Black_!"

After Lily said this, she buried her head in her arms again and moaned softly, as if her world was crashing down around her. And people say _I'm_ overdramatic!

"You say it like it's a bad thing!" I exclaimed, shocked that I wouldn't be the first person she would want to be stranded with.

She took a moment out of her personal misery to glare at me. "Of course it is a bad thing! You are one of the most irritating people in this whole school!"

I nodded understandingly. I could see how she would arrive at such a conclusion. "Yes, I'm sure you would much rather be stuck with James."

At this she let out a sound of utter disgust, much to my amusement. I went on to make sickly cooing sounds, just so my reputation as "most irritating person" would not be undeserved. I paid dearly for this moment, as she hit me hard on my very sensitive (yet muscular) arm.

"Oww... use non-violence much?"

"Just shut up."

I decided to stand up for myself. Reclaim my dignity, as I sat on the cold, dingy, mouldy broom closet floor.

"No! I will not shut up, Lily Evans, because you know what? I was here first! And YOU barged in on ME. Therefore, you are a guest in my humble broom closet. And, as a guest, you must follow by my rules." She stared at me, unbelieving. "Er... any questions? Yes, you with the red hair." I pointed to her.

"Are you completely insane?"

"Not completely."

"But you are a little bit crazy, right?"

"Hmm… yes, I would say so. What, are you going to discriminate against me now?" I narrowed my eyes at her suspiciously. To my surprise, she laughed.

"I can't tell if you mean to be funny or you are just naturally like this. Maybe I'm too tired, since I've never found you amusing before."

"Never?" I was honestly surprised.

"Well, maybe once or twice," she admitted slowly, hiding a grin. I clapped my hands in triumph.

"Aha! I always knew you were a closet, heh, Sirius fancier!" She gave me the blankest look she could muster, and I waved my hands impatiently. "Get it? _CLOSET?_" And then, because I couldn't help myself, I started laughing like a maniac. Lily, however, continued to stare.

"Fine, fine, fine," I forced myself to lose my humourous disposition. "You must be really tired if you didn't get that one. Just go to sleep, and we'll be out of here in the morning. Jiffy split!" 

Lily crinkled her nose at me. "I don't know what Jiffy split is, but I am not falling asleep with you in here, Sirius Black. I don't trust you one bit. You'll try some funny stuff."

I was taken aback. I put my hand over my heart. "Lily, how could you? After all we've been through, you can't trust me? You think I'm some kind of pervy womanizer?"

"Yes." 

"I am not! I'm a hard-core feminist!"

"You are too a womanizer! Why were you even here in the first place?" she stabbed me in the chest with her pointy index finger as she said this. The way she said it so accusingly, you'd think I were on trial!

"Contemplating life. What else?" I said this with an innocent glance toward my jury, the brooms and company.

Lily rolled her eyes. "I _know_ you were going to meet that fifth year Hufflepuff girl, Stella Evesburrow!"

I sat up. "You do? How do you know that?"

She grinned maliciously. "Because I was there when she came up to Potter at lunch to pass on the message that she couldn't meet you tonight. She said she has an overdue potions assignment to write." 

I was speechless. My best friend had seen my countless times today after lunch, and he had not passed on the message! No wonder I heard him giggling with delight as I left this evening. I thought for sure he was just a naturally happy person. Happy to just know me, and overjoyed to be my friend. I voiced these thoughts to Lily and she only laughed at me further.

"Yes, he is quite the wonderful friend to you, isn't he?" she sniggered.

I puffed my chest out indignantly. "I'll have you know, he is! Most of the time, I mean. We play pranks on one another, it's quite a Marauder thing. You wouldn't understand." I said airily.

"You mean, you and Potter play awful pranks on everyone else, and occasionally on each other."

"Yes, something like that."

"You're horrible," she said, and shifted herself so her back was facing me. Yes, she gave me the old cold shoulder. Her coldness lost its affect, however, because when she moved she shifted too many things and a dustpan fell directly onto her head. This, of course, caused me to laugh loudly.

"You stupid prat!" she snarled, and started beating me with the dustpan. As you can see, Lily has a very violent streak. I'm not the kind of creep who will hit girls, which is kind of unfortunate, because I had to sit there and let her hit me with the pan for quite a time. Eventually, I was able to snatch it out of her hands and throw it into the pile of brooms behind me.

"Why don't you cut it out!" I snapped at her. She was so taken aback that she fell silent. I frowned at her. "Look, Lily- Evans- whatever you want me to call you, I am very sorry that we are stuck in here and if I could I would get us out. But I can't," I paused for a calming breath. "So, you might as well get some sleep because it is going to be a long night and you aren't going to be any better for it in the morning. And, I'm not going to try any 'funny stuff' as you so charmingly put it, so relax."

And so she did. "I'm sorry," she said. "I'm just in a bad mood. I know you wouldn't do that."

"Oh, yeah?" I was surprised.

She grinned. "You're too scared of Potter."

"I'll have you know that I have no interest in you whatsoever Lily Evans." I said with as much indifference as I could muster.

"Same." 

"Even though I know you secretly fancy me."

"I don't secretly fancy you, Black."

"Don't call me that. And you do, too." Really, how could she not?

"No, I don't."

"Well, then, you must SECRETLY FANCY JAMES POTTER!" I cried gleefully, catching her in her own mind games.

"STOP DOING THAT!"

"Why?" 

"Because it isn't true! Why must you two continually persist when I obviously don't like him?"

"Come on, now, Lily, you can't blame him for trying. He's crazy about you, can't you see that?"

Lily made a skeptical sound and turned away from me again. I leaned up against her, back to back. "If we stay like this, we won't have to sleep in the mould and mildew," I explained. Lily nodded. I waited, and when no beating came, I took this as a good sign.

"He's not as bad as you think," I said quietly. I somehow felt that this was my chance, despite James's horrid betrayal of me, to make Lily realize that they were meant for each other.

For a while she didn't say anything, I thought maybe she had drifted off, but then she cleared her throat nervously.

"How am I supposed to know that? Besides, why should I confide in you? If I say anything, you'll just spill it all to him in the morning." She sounded harsh, so I picked up the mighty dustpan and put my right hand on it and lifted my left hand into the air. She turned around to look at what I was doing.

"I, Sirius Orion Black, of the unfortunate initials, vow that whatever Lily tells me in this sacred broom closet will never escape my lips from morning onwards."

She stared. "What are you swearing on? A dustpan?"

I thought for a moment. "No, I'm swearing on the honour of the most Noble and Ancient House of Black."

She looked so confused when I burst out laughing at this, that it only made me laugh harder. I ruffled her hair and winked.

"Just kidding. I'm swearing on the honour of the Gryffindor House. Surely, that's good enough?"

She seemed satisfied, and a bit amused. "Okay, I believe you. Even though you did it wrong. Your left hand is supposed to be down, and your right hand is supposed to be up. Not the other way around." 

I rolled my eyes. "Yeesh, Lily, it's a DUSTPAN." I put the dustpan away and we leaned against each other again. Now that all the excitement of trying to open the door and being beaten by Lily was over, I could feel my eyes getting heavy.

No, I told myself, I must stay awake. For James's sake! And then, I had to grin to myself for making such a clever rhyme. I made a mental note to tell Remus that one, since he thinks _he's_ such a good poet.

"What are you laughing at?" Lily asked.

"Er... nothing, never you mind," I said hastily, realizing that I actually had laughed out loud. I swiftly then changed the subject back to James.

"Evans, you never did tell me why you constantly turn poor Jamesie down," I said casually. "Can't you see, he is dying inside? Every night he cries himself to sleep, and pours his heart out to me. 'Oh, Sirius, my most handsome and loyal friend! Why does Lily consistently reject me? Am I such a horrid beast that she cannot stand to remain in my presence? Oh, that I were a bird, I would sing on her window sill every morning just to see her beautiful face as she awakens!'" 

Lily made a distinct gagging sound. "I really doubt he does that, Sirius. I never knew you of all people were so eloquently spoken." 

"It is a gift, as well as a curse," I said with a sigh. Then, realizing that I was the one making the conversation go off track, mentioned James again. "Really, though, why?"

Lily thought for a moment. "How should I put this, Sirius? It is because I know he is pursuing me for all the wrong reasons." 

"Go on."

She paused again. "I'm the only girl in Hogwarts who won't swoon and faint as he walks by. The only girl who won't say yes to him, and it drives him mad. He's an immature, spoiled brat, and he can't stand not getting his way. As soon as I were to accept his offer (hypothetically speaking, of course), he would soon lose interest in me and run off with some blonde airhead." She said this all very fast and it sounded to me as if she had wanted to say it for quite some time.

"You honestly believe that?"

"Yes!" 

"You honestly believe _that?_ Even though you know very well that he has never had a steady girlfriend in all his years at Hogwarts, and has refused to even go on any dates for the last year as an effort to prove his devotion to you? Even though he spends every waking moment trying to convince you of his undying love? _Even though_ he spends hours upon hours writing sickly love letters and poetry to you? _Even though_ the only thing I ever hear him talk about is 'Evans this, and Evans that'? _EVEN THOUGH_—"

"ALRIGHT! I get the point!" she cried. I stopped talking and waited for her to say something. For a while I thought she wasn't going to reply at all, but then she took a deep breath and exhaled.

"So what if he means it?" she asked, quietly this time. "I don't want to date someone so childish, so irresponsible, so— arrogant! I guess there is no point in talking to you about this, though. You're just as bad as he is."

I wasn't sure if I should take that as a compliment, seeing as she didn't mean it that way, but I resisted being offended.

"He's really not that bad Lily. Can't you see any good in him?" 

"No." I could tell she was lying.

"Oh, no?" I asked patronizingly.

"He is too mean to everyone, and he never gives me a moment's peace. He isn't exactly polite to me, either, if you would like to recall some of those memories."

She was right, he had said some pretty rude things to her, but he hadn't meant any harm. I mentally kicked James (yes, I have the power to do that) for giving Lily so much ammunition. But, I was still up for the challenge.

"He has grown up a lot, though. The only person he is actually mean to is Sniv-- Snape, and really, can you blame him? It isn't as though Snape is nice to him either, or to you for that matter." Point for me! 

"And it isn't as if Snape has any friends either. How easy is it for you guys to gang up on him like you do? Of course he isn't going to like anyone if everyone is against him! Potter never takes the honourable way out, he _always_ has to have the last word."

"Snape is perfectly capable of taking care of himself, I'm afraid. And as for James always having to have the last word- well, that is just his Gryffindor spirit!" I couldn't resist throwing in some House patriotism. "He always speaks up when he doesn't like something, and that often includes defending you- even when you aren't around. Come on, I dare you to say _one_ nice thing about James." 

Lily waited a few moments before answering. "He's loyal to his friends, I suppose. He's talented and intelligent, likeable," she winced at this, "and well... brave." She made an effort to catch herself before she started chattering on.

"But, he's still an idiot," she said decisively.

I cursed her and her nimble arguments. I decided to try another route. 

"Oh, but Evans, you know he is quite_ good looking_..." I said in a singsong voice.

"Don't even go there," she warned.

"Ooh, I knew it! You think he's gorgeous, don't you? His sexy Quidditch muscles, his cute lopsided grin, his sun kissed skin, his lovely locks of umm.. lust! I'll bet you positively melt whenever he is near!"

I swear to you, I felt her raise an eyebrow at me. "All this is coming from you," she said.

"Well, it is all true! Do you deny it?" I picked up my trusty dustpan and handed it to her over my shoulder. "Can you swear by our sacred dustpan that you do not find James Potter attractive?" 

"I'm not playing this anymore. Goodnight Sirius." She sounded very final.

"Oh, no you don't! You can't fall asleep now! We've made so much progress!"

She made an un-charming, very unfeminine growling sound. "What are you? A shrink? I said, I'm tried, and I don't want to talk about stupid, bigheaded Potter any more!"

"Now I'll never have Godchildren!" I wailed.

"_What!_" She jumped just a little bit.

I continued on in my melodramatic lamentations. "It is hopeless! Now, you two will _never_ fulfill your destiny together! I will _never_ get to be best man at James's wedding, I will _never_ get to tell your children the tales of our carefree school days! I'll _never_ get to see little James Jr, with his father's messy hair and his mother's emerald eyes! And James will be alone for all of his days, wallowing in self-pity, continually trying (and failing) to beat me at chess! Why, oh, why do you want to create such misery in the lives of others?" Then, for effect, I curled up on the ground in the fetal position and pretended to sob. If that wasn't a heart wrenching performance, I don't know what is! Things got a bit too pathetic, though, because when I was on the ground my head landed in a small puddle of goodness-knows-what, and it got in my hair! 

"AH! My beautiful hair!" I sat up and tried frantically to get the stuff out of my hair with my sleeve. Lily, the heartless person that she is, only laughed at me.

"Stop screaming!" she gasped, clutching at her stomach from laughing so hard.

"Then help me, why don't you!" I snapped. I cast lumos so she could see the problem. She cast a cleaning spell with her wand and pointed it at my hair. The goo was out, but now my hair was all wet.

"Now I am going to catch a cold, sitting here in this cold closet with my hair soaking," I whined.

"Oh, for crying out loud!" She cast the drying spell too. "You could have done all that yourself, you big baby."

"I couldn't think amidst my utter panic," I said coolly, running my fingers through my now clean (and might I say, perfect) hair. "But I must commend you on your quick thinking in a moment of chaos." 

"Fine," she said uncertain as to whether I was kidding or not.

I took advantage of the moment. "You never answered my question, you know." I was referring to my question on whether or not she thought James was a total dream-boat (I learned this term from Remus, surprisingly). Since I still hadn't extinguished the light from my wand, I saw her blush quite visibly.

"Er--" she was flustered, so I decided to spare her a moment.

"You can't remember? Fine, I'll repeat my question. What are you doing here, Lily Evans?"

She looked at me, seeming a bit shocked. Then, she smiled sheepishly. 

"You're going to laugh at this," she began.

"Yes, that is probable," I admitted with a nod. I got myself ready for some outlandish tale of adventures and events that ended up with her getting chased down the hall by Peeves the poltergeist.

"I fell asleep in the library."

I blinked.

"_And...?_" 

"That's it. I usually sit in the most concealed place, so no one saw me there. I woke up, and it was already eleven o'clock." She shrugged.

I couldn't believe it! "That is THE _worst_ excuse I have ever heard!" I didn't try and hide my disappointment.

Lily was taken aback. "What? Do you think I would have been doing something else? I'm not YOU, you know! Snogging people left and right, it's disgusting!"

"At least I don't sleep with books," I said slyly. She hit me on the shoulder. "Hey, you can't judge me! You're in denial!" 

"Denial of what?"

"Your love for James Potter!" I said, and threw up my arms festively. 

Her eyes narrowed. "Why do you look so excited when you say that? I've told you, I don't fancy him!"

"See? Denial! Not just a river in Egypt." I poked her forehead. 

"See? No brain! A scientific phenomenon!" She poked me back.

"You want to talk about a scientific phenomenon?" I gave her a challenging look. "Did you hear about the girl with the heart of ice?" I paused to think for a moment. "Or was it of stone? I can't remember... The point is- you have a heart of icy stone!" 

"That is not true! _James_ is the one who doesn't care about anything other than himself! I'm sorry Sirius, I just can't deal with someone so selfish!"

I didn't say anything for a while. I was too busy thinking about how completely wrong she was. How there was no better person in the world I could think of. If she knew the truth about all those nights James stayed up, poring over the transfiguration texts, trying to figure out a way for us to become animagi, she wouldn't say that. If she ever saw how angry he got when he read about the Walpurgis hate crimes in the news, and how determined it made him to become an Auror, she wouldn't say that. If she ever saw how adoringly he looked at her, she wouldn't say that.

"I guess I can't convince you of how much you mean to him," I said slowly. "He sees no fault in you Lily Evans, he worships the ground you walk on. If that isn't love and complete adoration, I don't know what is. He's too confused about how to act around you to let you believe it."

I sighed and closed my eyes. I listened to the sound of water dripping down from the ceiling. It was a calming, consistent noise, like a metronome.

"It's like a masquerade," I said, finally, more to myself than her. "The two of you are constantly wearing masks, keeping each other from realizing the truth about each other. You hide behind your feigned hate for James, and he hides behind his ego. No matter how close you come in the dance, you never see what is really behind the mask..." I trailed off, amazed that I had voiced something so cheesy and sentimental. "I know it sounds silly, but I see it every day. Sometimes it gets so frustrating, I just wish I could lock you both in a room and refuse to let you out until you settle your differences. Remus said that isn't a good idea, though, and now look at what's happened. It is you and I who are locked in together, and even though I've been talking for so long, I haven't managed to change your mind about anything. I can't prove anything to you Lily. You'd just have to see it for yourself."

When I finished talking, the closet went dead quiet. All I could hear was Lily's slow breathing, and the dripping of water. I was sad, because I felt like this was my big chance to help Lily and James get together, and I had ruined it. Maybe, even, I was wrong. Maybe they weren't meant to be. Maybe...

"Sirius?" 

I had almost fallen asleep when Lily's soft voice woke me.

"Hmm?" 

"Will you please hand me the dustpan?"

I leaned over to pick it up and hand it to her, almost sure she was going to beat me with it again.

She took it and then turned around to face me, a small smile on her face. She put her left hand on the dustbin and her right hand in the air, took a deep breath and then in a most authoritative voice made a vow that I know I will never forget.

"I do hereby swear, that I, Lily Marie Evans, upon and by the referral by Sirius Orion Black, will give James Potter a fair chance." 

I was so astounded that I opened my mouth and no words came out. She handed me the dustpan back and frowned slightly.

"I'm not promising it will work out. It would be a shame for your little speech there to go to waste, so this is my effort of, er, taking off my mask."

Still too baffled to speak.

"Stop looking at me like I have two heads Sirius! I mean, if someone like you can testify for James in such a profound way, then there must be something more to him than I can see." She looked a little bit panicked, like she was thinking of taking back her promise.

I cleared my throat. And again.

"Th-thanks." 

She smiled again. Her award-winning, sincere, Lily Evans smile that James is always going on about.

"I suppose you're right about there being more to people than you can usually tell. I've learned a lot about you too, tonight, Sirius. You're not nearly as horrible as you make people believe." 

Then I did something that astonished us both. I hugged her. Yes, I of the Manly Coolness Club (I am the president of this club, by the way) was hugging Lily Evans. This thought was a bit too much for me, so I pushed her away, and started laughing.

"You're probably happier about this than he will be," she said. This only made me laugh harder.

"We're embarking on a new era! A brighter future for tomorrow! Ooh, it is so exciting, I must take a picture of the look on Jamesie's face when you tell him! Maybe he'll even faint!" I started babbling on and on and Lily soon grew tired of it.

"Were you betting a large sum of money on this?" she asked, suddenly suspicious.

I thought for a moment. "Actually, now that you mention it, I have. I bet Remus you two would get together before seventh year." She opened her mouth, about to yell at me, but I put up my hand to silence her. "But I had forgotten about it up until you mentioned it just now."

"Oh." 

After a moment of contemplation I started talking again.

"Hey, does this make you my sister-in-law?"

"What! No! Why are you saying ridiculous things?"

"I wouldn't mind having you for a sister, Lily Evans. Besides, now I don't have to call you Evans anymore. Really, it's a bit awkward with you calling me by my first name and me calling you by your surname." 

"Oh, this is all happening so fast," she said sarcastically. "Don't you think you're jumping the gun a bit? I doubt anything is going to work out between me and Potter, I just promised to give him a fair chance, that's all."

"Think what you will, but Remus and I already have your wedding planned out." I chuckled and she jolted and sat up straight.

"What! Tell me you're joking!"

I shook my head mysteriously but didn't reply.

"Goodnight Lily."

"'Night," she muttered reluctantly.

I grinned to myself, as I drifted off. It is amazing what an annoying best friend, a poltergeist, and a dustpan can do.

**A/N**: **NO, THIS IS NOT THE END!** They still have to get OUT of the closet. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and once again I don't claim rights to anything, yada, yada, yada. Oh, and as for the "unfortunate initials" thing, I always thought that Sirius's middle name was Orion, but then I read a fanfic that pointed out that it might not be the best combination of initials, and I forget what fanfic that was (I have been reading so many lately…) but I just wanted to give credit there… um, yeah.

Thanks to all those who have read the story so far, and I hope you keep reading. And don't forget to review!

A special thanks to all those who have reviewed so far!

**Centaurlad**: Sorry, I had already finished this story before I even posted the first chapter, so I won't be able to fit in your challenge. I may, however, include it in a sequel, perhaps! Thank you so much for complimenting my writing, it means so much to me!

**Ginny424**: Heh, I was hoping that people would think it was James, but I figured they would be able to tell it was Sirius because he is so… odd… Thank you so much for your review!

**Quitesirius**: I am so happy to hear you love the way I write Sirius. When I was writing him, I kept noticing that I was making him sound a bit like Yamazaki (a Cardcaptor Sakura character who stars in another one of my fanfics). Congrats on guessing correctly! And thanks for your wonderful review!

**Bailz**: I know where you live. Oh, and thank you for the review! I'm so glad you're finally reading one of my fanfics:-p

**Celina Black**: I hope this chapter explained everything to you. Lily just fell asleep in the library, and it was past lights out, so she had to sneak back to the dorm and I guess Peeves just started chasing her down the hall. Ack! Poor Lily, she never gets a break

**Yagi-sempai and Car Car**: Thank you for being my beta readers with absolutely no criticism to offer. You have truly brought this story from its humble beginnings to a new frontier. Seriously though, thanks for reading it, you make-a me warm and fluffy inside! heart heart heart x infinity!


	3. Chapter 3: Coming Out of the Closet

**The Power of a Dustpan**

by: Sinead Usagi

----------------- Chapter Three: Coming Out of the Closet ---------------------

"They're in here Moony!"

"Prongs, that's a closet."

"I'm telling you, they're in here! Just look at the map, if you don't believe me!"

The crinkling of parchment.

"Oh, I see..."

"_WHY ARE LILY AND SIRIUS TOGETHER IN A BROOM CLOSET?_"

_James sounds furious_, I thought to myself as I was rudely awoken. _What's he on about?_

"Er- I'm sure there is a logical explanation, Prongs, just calm down."

Ah, Moony, always the level-headed one.

"_DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! I WANT AN EXPLANATION!_" In my mind I could see a stress vein popping out of his forehead. Behind me, Lily sat up, completely awake.

"Well, why don't we ask them?" Remus again.

"_FINE!_"

The doorknob jerked back and forth for a moment before James was able to push the door in. Of course, this story wouldn't be complete without me getting walloped with the door again. This time it hit me in the head, and _hard_.

"Why does the door open inward?" I heard Remus wonder out loud. I saw Lily get up with some difficulty, and stretch out her stiff legs. Then, she helped me up and we both got out of that closet as fast as we could.

"I SEE THE LIGHT!" I said joyously and did as good of a jig as my aching legs would allow. Then, I caught sight of James's face and any feeling of happiness was replaced with the utmost terror.

"Eek!" I hid behind Remus and held him by the shoulders, prepared to use him as a human shield.

"**Sirius Black...**" he began in a low voice, taking a menacing step forward.

"Yes?" I asked as meekly as I could. I'll admit, the situation did look bad, but he should have some faith in me!

"**Explain. This. Now.**"

He was so upset he couldn't speak in proper sentences. His face was beet red, and yes, the vein was popping.

"Well, you see, the thing is... I was, you know, there for my... you know. Date. And well, you know... she didn't come..." I was feeling a bit overwhelmed, what having just woken up and the light blinding my eyes. I started to feel light headed.

"I was running away from Peeves and he locked me in there, Potter." Lily stepped forward and spoke up. I smiled at her gratefully from behind Remus.

"Oh," James said, starting to look relieved.

Lily smiled at him pleasantly. "We had a lot of fun last night, didn't we Sirius, love?" She gave me what was most definitely a seductive look and there was one thought in my mind.

**_I am going to die._**

_Thank you Lily, you'd better throw me an expensive funeral. _

_James is going to kill me._

James, in the midst of his anger, made a sound like he was about to cry. Then Lily spoke again.

"And as a result, I have decided that I will go on one date with you James Potter."

James stopped approaching me, wand raised, torn between anger and tears, and froze. Then, he turned around slowly to look at Lily, his face mirroring his complete and utter shock. I heard Remus gasp slightly.

"Wha- what... what did you say?" James wasn't sure if he had heard correctly.

There was a pink tinge to her cheeks as she was forced to repeat herself.

"I said, I am willing to give you a chance, Potter."

My grip on Remus's shoulders tightened and we both leaned forward anxiously to see what James would do.

Well, if you are expecting something romantic and spectacular (part of me was, I'll admit) like him bringing her into a Casanova embrace and kissing her- well, you are going to be sorely disappointed. He just sort of... stood there and wobbled back and forth on the spot for a while. It was kind of embarrassing, especially since I had spent the whole night telling Lily how great he is. Even Lily was looking at him expectantly. I sent him mental messages of _DO SOMETHING YOU PRAT_, but it wasn't working. He eventually blinked, pushed up his glasses and tried to speak.

"O--" his voice came out all crackled and high-pitched. He cleared his throat and tried again. I was squeezing Remus's shoulders so hard that I'm sure he must have been in pain. But I didn't care, no, not me. This was my moment, too!

"Okay."

Just, _okay_?

"Great."

No way. Now _I'm_ going to kill him. This is the most unromantic reception I have ever witnessed. I glanced at Lily and she was looking at James disappointedly. I saw his hands were balled and he was knocking them against his sides nervously.

Lily, stuck in an awkward situation, bit her bottom lip.

"Okay," she said. "Hogsmeade weekend, then?"

"Yeah, that sounds good. I mean, great. It sounds great. It's really super."

That was too much for me. I had to interfere. I let go of Remus and jumped forward.

"Great, super, good, nice! Everyone is happy now!" I cried, breaking the tension. I leant into the closet and pulled out the dustpan.

"Let this be an eternal reminder of this groundbreaking occasion," I proclaimed, holding it up. I then, ceremoniously tapped each of them on the head with it (I may have hit James a little harder than necessary).

While still, no one said anything, I spoke again: "I think I'll put this on the mantle in our dorm room. What do you say, Moony?"

"I think maybe that should stay here for Filch's custodial duties," he said dryly. "And, we have to go to class. Peter is saving some seats at the lunch table for us, but I imagine you may want to take a shower and change first," he said, and crinkled his nose at me. Darn his superhuman sense of smell!

Remus and I started to walk away, but realized that James was still standing there in front of the closet, staring dreamily at Lily as she walked away. So, each of us took one of James's arms and dragged him away. Once we were a considerable distance from Lily, he snapped out of his daze.

"She finally had a change of heart!" he cried with glee and started skipping down the corridor, rather than walking like a sane person.

"You have me to thank for that, mate." I told him with a knowing nod. "I spent the whole night convincing her what a great guy you are." He laughed and rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, right, Sirius. She was probably so sick of your, um, coquetry, that she realized how great I am and how much was missing from her life without me."

_James Potter has got to be the most arrogant prat I have ever known. I can't believe he doesn't believe me!_

I chose to humour him rather than argue. How great am I? "Ha, I suppose you're right Prongsie! Now what were you thinking of doing for the date?"

"Well, Padfoot, I was thinking..."

As James babbled on and on, I realized that it would take a lot more than actually getting Lily's co-operation to get them together. A lot more. But, hey, that's what I'm here for!

And I'm sure you know that it ends in all extremities. Lily and James fall extremely in love. I get extremely annoyed with myself for setting them up, because I never get to see my best friend anymore. Remus is extremely relieved that I forgot about our bet (which I didn't). And Peter is sitting at the breakfast table, extremely hungry and extremely forgotten.

I guess swearing oaths over a dustpan was pretty extreme too.

**FIN.**

* * *

**A/N:** Yes! It is now over! I think this is the first time I have finished a story (not for school) that wasn't a one-shot, so this is a pretty big deal for me. Thanks again to all those who reviewed, you make my life so much happier I hope you all have a wonderful summer and go and get Half-Blood Prince!

Oh, and don't forget to review!

**Ieyre**: I'm glad you thought they were cute. I never really see any fanfics detailing their relationship and I wanted to try it for myself. I imagine they would have grown very close, and had an amusing friendship. Thanks for the review!

**Bailz**: Thank you so much for reading this chapter in advance for me. Ah, you are so cool! Hope you enjoyed it!

**Ginny 424**: I thought you said you liked that Sirius was arrogant. I got the impression from the books that both James and Sirius were very conceited, but I think Sirius is aware of it while James isn't. That's just what I thought, anyway ;; thanks so much for reviewing again, I am SO glad to hear you've enjoyed it so far, I hope this last chapter is to your liking as well! Please tell me what you think!

**Shub**: I've always pictured Sirius (in his good years) as an eccentric oddball, hee hee! Thanks for your review!

**Sparkle E. Slugg**: omg, I love your name. And all your lovely adjectives fill my heart with happiness! Thank you!

**Andrea**: Thank you for reading my fanfic! lol, sorry for badgering you so much!


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